Dear Squirrel (or anything that enjoys torturing my dog while I am out),
You have succeeded in getting my otherwise, obedient dog into hot water. Oh.... You know what you did (and, so do I)! You and your squirrel friends must have come into my patio while my family and I ran a few errands today and, while Jakey (my loving coonhound) was holed up in the house guarding my home. You probably did some sort of dance in front of my back patio window taunting him since he can't get to you. "Which window?," you ask in that oh-so-cute chipmunk voice of yours... The window facing my backyard that I just recently hung new, wooden blinds from. That one. Does that jog your memory or, do you dance in front of other windows taunting dogs often?
In Jakey's frenzy of madness to tear you into pieces (and, annoyance to my neighbours with the probable baying coming from inside my home), he chomped with, what I can only assume was a rabid, foaming assault to my new wooden blinds. I would have never noticed this destruction to my beautiful, new wooden blinds had it not been for Jakey. When we arrived home from our short trip out, he wore a, 'who, me?!' expression on his sweet face that melted my heart and made me bend down to pick up his favourite 'baby' aka stuffed dog toy he lovingly flaunts to anyone that shows him the slightest affection. Upon bending down, I noticed wooden pieces scattered everywhere.
Now, I know squirrels like to point fingers (do you even have fingers)? But, I am a wonderful pet owner. My Jakey boy is an otherwise loving and sweet family dog. He only foams at the mouth and becomes the coonhound he should be when he hears the word for your kind...squirrel... or, that is, when he sees you or, one of your family members on my fence.
My only regret is not installing a shorter fence so that, before said blind incident occurred, I could have prevented this from happening. Jakey would have gotten you a long time ago had the fence been a bit shorter. You can thank my son for the fence height that saved your life. I didn't want my boy finding pieces of squirrel fur around my yard.
Now, I know that squirrels don't read blogs however, if you happen to visit my patio again I'll have a special treat waiting just for you.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot....We can both thank my brother, Mike for the b.b. gun last Christmas. At first, I was a bit surprised that he found that to be an appropriate gift for the holidays but, I see now how fitting and thoughtful it was.
That gift will come in handy soon, I hope. Maybe I can use your squirrel pelt to mask the gaping hole in my blinds? I'll search Pinterest for that DIY project. I am sure Pinterest will have a pin for that type of project.
Yours truly,
-ProjectDonna
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